Dedicated to all things X-Tina.

Posts tagged ‘Aleksey Serin’

Go ahead, put us down! One of these days, we’ll turn it around! It won’t be long, mark our words! (or “The time has come for Revenge of the Nerds!”)

Hello, dear readers! It’s been a long time.

I was having my period. Honest.

I was having my period. Honest.

It was about time, too. Not so much that we know of has been going on on Snowflake’s life, but as I said before: justice failed. He’s roaming free, like a fucking gay butterfly during mating season, laughing his ass off, while fucking a chick that looks suspiciously like a gay dude, or a retarded trout a gorgeous blonde vixen. So, if I’m paying my fucking taxes, I say I’m entitled to at least a tiny bit of entertainment from those criminals (yeah, my soul feels much better now. Thanks).

OK, where were we? Oh yeah. Do you remember Ogre, from Revenge of the Nerds? That guy kicked serious ass (that is until movie #2, when he was pussy-fied to the point I wasn’t sure I was watching La Cage Aux Folles or ROTN2). Well, he could have written the following paragraph.

Average people never prepare themselves to handle failure. We are all taught in school to conform.  In the classroom there is only one “right” solution to a given problem.  All you have to do is memorize the answers or cheat without getting caught and you will get an “A” on a test.  We are seldom graded on our ability to come up with the answer.  Real life is different.  Being good at the process of coming up with the answer is more important than the answer itself.  Problems change every day.  We can never know enough in every situation, no matter how “book smart” we are.  So we have to be masters at failing forward to reach a solution.

Failing Forward, Serin Crime Family Style. Example #1. There’ll be a test.

Failing Forward #1: loose™ your parents home to your stupid schemes.

Failing Forward #1: loose™ your parents home to your stupid schemes.

Or this one.

 The cost/value is much better than anything else out there and it’s not just one strategy or topic but rather a complete REI education from start to finish.  I have spent something like $30,000 on real estate seminars before this college and have already seen a lot of stuff out there.  Some stuff was good but a lot of it was “fluffy”.  So I had high expections coming in.

http://iamfacingforeclosure.com/oldsite/119/real-estate-investing-college.html

Failing Forward, Example #2: Spending $30,000 in RE "Education" vs. going to real College? It's a no-brainer!!!
Failing Forward, Example #2: Spending $30,000 in RE “Education” vs. going to real College? It’s a no-brainer!!!

I could go on, but honestly – what’s the point. He’ll never learn, and he always thought he was so much better than all of us W-2, college educated losers.

So, anyway, the big news is (as always, thanks to CI’s Neigborhood Dot):

THE SERIN CRIME FAMILY HAS ABANDONED 4932 DEWEY DRIVE!

CAMPIDIOT & CI CELEBRATE TOGETHER, IN PEACE & HARMONY!

CAMPIDIOT & CI CELEBRATE TOGETHER, IN PEACE & HARMONY!

I think I see Animeboi & Imperial Executive somewhere in that pic. Bonus points if you guess which is which, and who is who.

But hey. The Crime Family is now gone, so, what happened to our dear high school grad? You know, the underage one one with the thunderthighs? Oh yeah. She’s 18 now, so I bet Casey is already planning on how to get some sweet passive income out of her. If you know what I mean. Pervs rejoice, and stuff.

Our little Kristina hass just graduated, and she’s, as a leading publication calls them, “Barely Legal”. Yeah, I know what you want, but it’s just too hard to fellate someone through a computer monitor, so I’m giving you the second best thing. Courtesy of Casey’s Secret FB mole: Kristina Serin’s graduation pics!

First: Ma, Paw and the Ricky Retardo gang:

I wonder if that's the public park they live in now.

I wonder if that's the public park they live in now.

A couple of comments I shamely stole from Campidiot:

  • Check out Steve. Doesn’t he seem he’d love to be somewhere else? He isn’t physically close to anyone. Also, his tie is at least 3 fingers too short, making him look even dumber than usual.
  • Marge the Babby Factory and David look pretty much OK. Marge, actually, looks prettier than I’ve seen her before. I’m not that much of an asshole, so I wish them well.
  • Does Kristina look happy to you? I dunno. She usually has this big ass (ahem) smile. She looks as if she’s trying hard, but no dice. Also, does anyone notice how much she looks like her father and Casey? Yikes.
  • Mommy Anna Serin and dad Aleksey Serin look actually relaxed and happy. Actually, Dad looks as if he married a homosexual lesbian (it can happen, I suppose). That wig makes Anna look like Casey Serin’s butch brother. That is, if she didn’t look like a 70 year old grannie.
  • And then there’s Casey and Olya. Check it out. Casey looks like shit, as always – seems he can’t be bothered to dress aproppiately.  His jacket doesn’t match his pants, no tie, faggy looking shirt….But the real interesting thing is – there’s no physical contact between them. Check it out. Hmm. By the way, I wasn’t aware Casey had married a bass fish. Gives new meaning to the term “trolling”, I suppose.

Kristina and Daddy:

Amazing! My child was able to graduate - even while being homeless! - Aleksey Serin

Amazing! My child was able to graduate - even while being homeless! - Aleksey Serin

  • Notice how much those two look alike. Even considering the nice boobs (and no, I’m not talking about her and her father!), could you kiss Kristina and not imagine Aleksey? Instant boner-crusher!
  • Extra points because daddy Aleksey actually knows how to dress for a graduation ceremony and wiped the drool off his face. Good for you Aleksey!
  • Extra points for Kristina for having completed High School. Come on X-Tina, show us what you got (ahem) and do finish College!

Anna Serin, the potty-mouthed Matriarch:

I'M THE LOVELY FACE OF APOCALYPSE!

I'M THE LOVELY FACE OF APOCALYPSE!

  • Not much to say about this one. Try not to stare,  or else your dick will fall off and run away, while your balls retract deep inside you and end up as ovaries.

X-Tina and Babby Factory Marge:

Kristina™: Because I don't know any other pose.

Kristina™: Because I don't know any other pose.

  • Let’s be honest here: I’d do Marge. She’s prettier than X-Tina.
  • Let’s be realistic here: she’s the one who begs for people to help her do stuff without pay and sells old sticks for $40.
  • Sometimes I wonder if Kristina has a mannequin built using that same pose and uses it for every pic.

Because CI is the only place on earth where X-Tina is called that way:

What's up with that sign?

What's up with that sign?

  • Good to know Daddy Aleksey has mastered the art of actually looking homeless.
  • Seriously, though, he looks a lot thinner than I remember.
  • X-Tina has a better looking smile here.
  • But she still looks like Roseanne Barr. She hit the Slavik Wall. Hard.
  • Once again, Anna Serin looks like Aleksey’s butch husband. I wonder if Rosie O’Donell gave Anna her wig after recording The Flintstones, back in the 90’s.
  • No, CI. I bet you are not the only guys who call Kristina “X-Tina”.

Usually, homeless people use big-ass signs for other purposes:

LET THE GUYS BEHIND US DEAL WITH THEIR OWN COLLATERAL DAMAGE, TOVARISCH!

LET THE GUYS BEHIND US DEAL WITH THEIR OWN COLLATERAL DAMAGE, TOVARISCH!

  • Attention whore alert: do you see anyone else with a big ass sign? I rest my case.
  • Whose hands are those? And, do they know a heart is actually a chick’s big ass while bending forward? Or, is that a code sign for “X-Tina, time to get to work!”?
  • Why do those people behave as if the rest of humanity didn’t exist? For fuck’s sake, have some decency and let people behind you watch whateve it is that is going on, morons. No wonder Casey can’t give two shits about society.

And this, I shall call… The Crotch Pic.

or "The Mystery of Kulaga's Stiffy"

or "The Mystery of Kulaga's Stiffy"

  • Once again, Marge looks sorta stunning on that pic. She’s the cute one, not Kristina.
  • And yeah, once again, Steve looks completely out of place and uncomfortable.
  • Perhaps he’d like to help David Kulaga with his all too obvious erection!
  • Are you still undecided about whether Daddy Aleksey Serin is mildly retarded? Look at his jacket. Now look at his arm. Now, try to look for his hand. Convinced? Once again, I rest my case.
  • Speaking about that, every trouser is far too long. I guess shopping at Goodwill has its drawbacks. I bet they miss their Kohl’s credict card.
  • I have to give props to mom, dad, Kris, Marge, Daddy and yeah, even David. Look at them – seriously. They are a very tight Crime Family unit – you can see and feel the love, just like between the Corleones.
  • Take a second look at their body language. Steve is trying to fit in, while David – Marge – Kristina and Daddy form a very tight unit. Anna is trying to slightly break out of it, BUT she’s leaning on her husband, which seems to mean she understands her daughter will leave home soon,
This was supposed to be a "big butt", but it's more of a WTF thing.

This was supposed to be a "big butt", but it's more of a WTF thing.

  • Look at dad’s, mom’s Marge’s and David’s position related to Casey and his lesbian bulldyke. They have their backs to them. Only Steve seems to be leaning towards him, and that could be because he’s so far away. Bad sign.
  • Now, take a look at the Trout and Casey Serin.
No, really.

No, really.

  • Compare them to Marge & Dave or Anna & Aleksey. They don’t even look like a pair of acquantainces – complete strangers usually have more physical contact than them. No part of their body is touching that we can see. Casey is using his “bodybuilder” chest expanison technique, far more worried about his looks than whatever his fiancee / husband / wife is doing. And Olya? She just looks completely out of place there, maybe more so than Steve.

Now, there’s just one more thing I don’t get. There was the lavish party, nice dress for Kristina, and Casey’s trip to Las Vegas during the Apocalyptic Week-end of May 21st. And, quite obviously, Anna and Aleksey aren’t living off the streets. So, where on earth is the money coming from?!? Think about it – we don’t know where the Crime Family is living, but one thing is for sure – if they are renting, then they have to pay each month or else. They also have no more credit cards, so they are living day-to-day. Where did the Jamaica and Las Vegas money come from? And then – if they have so much money that they can send Casey world-hopping, why can’t dad afford a suit that doesn’t make him look like a retard?

The only possible answer is: Olya’s got the money. We’ll find out sooner or later.

I hope you aren’t able to argue with me on this one – I was fair to the Serins this time around (yeah, right!). I guess we’ll soon know what’s up with Casey and his new Bass / Trout girlfriend / transexual SO, or whatever. Just wait – I bet Summer will bring plenty of surpises for all of us. How do I know? Easy. Why on earth did the Crime Family upload all those pics to FB? A: Because they are a bunch of attention whores, and will be for the foreseeable future.

Oh, and about Kristina? I’m still undecided, now that she’s 100% legal. Sure, she’s chubby hot, but you know, I like a different kind of oriental chick.

Hurry up James, Tila may be back any minute now!

Hurry up James, Tila may be back any minute now!

James Marks
All things considered, aren’t you just GLAD you were a nerd at school?

June 17th, 2011

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