Dedicated to all things X-Tina.

Hello, dear SEC readers!

Not much to post at the moment (not even good Tila shots!), but check this out. A tremendously talented CampIdiot poster wrote one of the funniest recaps of the entire saga. Sheer bloody poetry.

The crowd, having paid $5 each, is quiet. On the brightly lit stage, a hand-painted sign says ‘Cukey Goodman – making cucumbers disappear for your viewing pleasure’. There is a trampoline in the center of the stage – in front of the trampoline there is a padded stool and a low table. On the table is a large cucumber, a kitchen knife, a roll of duct tape, and a jar of Dr Procto’s Lube.

There is a brief smattering of applause as a slight man of about 30, his hair highlighted and combed forward, comes onstage wearing flip-flops and a striped bathrobe. This must be Cukey Goodman.

“And now,” he says, in slightly accented Californian English, “for you, my audience, I will make a cucumber disappear.”

Mr Goodman carefully cuts the end off the cucumber. He pulls off a length of duct tape and turns to clown for the audience as the duct tape gets stuck to his fingers. Eventually he manages to tape the cucumber upright in the center of the stool. He then coats the cucumber in Dr. Procto’s, his fingers lingering on the shaft a little too lovingly for some.

Once this is complete, Mr Goodman kicks off his flip-flops and climbs onto the trampoline. There is a collective gasp and intake of breath from the audience as he drops the bathrobe with a flourish. He begins to bounce, jumping higher and higher as he eyes the distance between the trampoline and the stool. Some people cover their eyes as Mr Goodman’s flaccid penis whirls in a circle in time to his bouncing.

Mr Goodman, satisfied with his last bounce, leaps high in the air toward the stool. From offstage, a woman’s voice with a heavy Slavic accent is heard incongruously yelling ‘Go Kostya Go!’. Cukey, meanwhile, strikes a couple of styles at the top of his leap.

This is his undoing – as he comes down he clutches his knees and pulls them up, aiming his twitching anus at the tip of the heavily-lubed vegetable below, but his clowning has thrown his timing off. He misses, and he smashes squarely into the cuke with his testicles, spattering the front row of the audience with a grotesque salad of cucumber fragments and lube.

The audience files out to get their money back as Cukey lies groaning on the stage.

Anonymous – http://www.campidiot.com/casey

Read it once again and you’ll see – the entire 5 years of this criminal saga is there.  Major props, dude.

James Marks
You spin me right round, baby, right round!
May 18th, 2011 

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Comments on: "The Serin Bros. Show (or “You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record baby, right round round round.”)" (21)

  1. Ralph Kramden said:

    Wow, it must be slow, but I always appreciate your efforts. The meatspin reference was pretty amusing too. I always laugh when some embeds that tag over at CI. Twisted but funny.

    I guess we have to be patient. I am sure Casey will provide something amusing in the near future.

  2. koi free semi vegan said:

    Nice piece, James. Well crafted. Good job!

    • I wish I could write that kind of stuff. I laughed for quite a while!

      It’s a matter of time before Casey makes a comeback. We are all he has left (imagine that).

  3. Anonymous said:

    Kudos to Jambes and to the original author.

    I’m feeling a bit restless as the long holiday weekend approaches, I wish we could find even the smallest of wormsigns. Sigh.

  4. Casey's Anus said:

    LMFAO….this is one good piece!

  5. Casey? Where are you, you metrosexual hunk???

  6. Anonymous said:

    Wormsign.

    Casey brought his FB back and he’s in Vegas.
    http://www.campidiot.com/ci/viewtopic.php?pid=3170424#p3170424

  7. I’m heartbroken to find out that my honey spent the weekend in Vegas, and he didn’t take me! Baby, we could have gotten married at one of those little chapels! (even if we did get the marriage annulled after 24 hours because you couldn’t perform with a woman…)

  8. Hamilton K. Fisker said:

    I’ve been following the bathetic and pointless tale of the failed “multimillionaire” manque Casey Serin intermittently for several years now. Admittedly, I have not pursued the tale with the ardor of you people or the motley bunch on C.I.; but then, I do have a life.

    The Casey non-saga ended a long time ago, when a series of acts of fraud and crass stupidity ended in financial collapse, divorce, mild lunacy, and shame. Frankly, I wonder where Casey would be now if Marks and others hadn’t kept the story going – or tried to keep the story going, at any rate. Casey is over. Done. Finished. The denouement, the explosion, was several years ago. All you’re doing is sifting through the ashes, looking for some scrap to seize upon.

    There’s nothing here.

    Not that I think Serin should be let off the hook, but I would argue that he is already serving a life sentence. Casey’s an odd combination: a freeloader and a sponge, but a sucker and a sap as well. His fifteen minutes of fame – or ignominy – are over. All of his grandiose schemes and fantasies are just so much smoke; lacking any real talents or discipline, they will never amount to anything. He has no education, no values that I can see, and no apparent skills. Delivering pizzas would exceed the sum total of his abilities. In the end, his utter lack of character has condemned him to be a permanent “loser” in life’s contest.

    So why continue to focus any attention on him? So that he can be brought to book by the authorities and justice seen to be done? Consider this: as a result of investigations into the last major banking crisis two decades ago, more than 1,000 banking executives and employees went to prison, and thousands more were barred from further employment in the industry. Care to guess how many financial executives have gone to prison recently? I’ll give you a hint: zero. Compared with the malfeasance, nonfeasance and outright fraud committed by literally tens of thousands of financial executives, employees, and politicians, Caseys’ crimes don’t really amount to much. Nor are they unique. Over the last decade, literally tens of thousands – perhaps several million – people in this country did very similar things: overstated income and assets, committed acts of fraud, or simply over-leveraged themselves to an unheard-of degree. Let’s face it, while there are plenty of stories of hapless borrowers being turfed out of their house in foreclosure by callous lenders, there are far more who borrowed to the hilt when times were good, and knowingly spent the proceeds on things they couldn’t really afford, heedless of the consequences. While it plays well in the media and populist politics to depict the recent financial crisis in terms of villains and victims, predators and prey, the reality is that there are very few true victims, and an overwhelming number of perps. On close examination of what happened in the decade of national – nay, global -madness that followed 9/11, no one comes off looking very good. For every greedy, venal mortgage lender that played fast and loose with documentation, there was an equally greedy, venal borrower who was willing to overstate his income and count his credit lines as “hard assets”. Casey was one of a common type, as were many thousands of others. The difference was that he was foolish enough to trumpet the fact. Apart from that, Casey and his crimes were as common as dirt.

    Waiting to see Casey in the dock? Have a nice wait.

    In the meantime, haven’t we all got better things to do?

    Or maybe you’d rather waste your precious hours – of which we all have fewer than we think – making vulgar, humorless jokes about hapless vegetables or picking on Monica, whose disgust with “the system” and its wiles masks her disappointment in herself.

    I’m betting you’re more than that. I know I am.

    And for those of you who aren’t, let me throw you a bone:http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-mortgage-fraud-20110523,0,1196882.story

    Goodbye.

    • palestine4ever said:

      Oh god, get the fuck out already. To the best that I can tell, nobody here spends more than a few minutes per week getting a chuckle at the family’s expense — probably far less than you did writing that long-winded pile of self-righteous bullshit.

      You seriously just replied to a two week old blog post with 8 comments with a 700 word post suggesting people do better things with their time.

      “Goodbye.”

      Get the fuck out.

  9. BlueBall said:

    Octuplets’ mom plans bikini car wash
    By LORI BASHEDA
    THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

    Octuplet mom Nadya Suleman is planning a “bikini car wash” for June 18 in hopes of raising enough money to stave off foreclosure on her La Habra home, TMZ is reporting.
    Suleman will charge $20 to $30 to wash your car, the reports say. SUVs will cost extra.

    Nadya Suleman is planning a “bikini car wash” for June 18 to raise money so she can make house payments.
    Helping her will be TV personality Tila Tequila and Capri Anderson, the porn actress and sometime Charlie Sheen escort.
    This isn’t Suleman’s first attempt to raise money when faced with eviction.
    In the past the mother of 14 has held a garage sale, selling such items as her nursing bra, and let PETA plant signs in her yard calling for people to spay and neuter their animals.
    The report says the car wash will be held in LA, but gives no other specifics. Suleman’s attorney could not be reached for comment.

  10. koi free semi vegan said:

    The prosecuters are only just now getting to the people in the $2million range. They intend to prosecute them all for their fraud and expect it to be easy pickings as most of them never qualified to fill their gas tank on credit, but bought a number of homes, none of which they ever lived in, but all of which were claimed to be a primary residence.

    Good Morning, Casey!

  11. All right, let me tell you a really hilarious Romanian joke. It is hilarious because in Romanian, the word for “erase” and the word for “wipe” is the same (the student’s apparent rudeness was not intentional). I’m not sure you can find the equivalent in English. If you can, please let me know.

    The Moldavian university student comes late to class.
    Professor: “I marked you late, young man!”
    Student: “Please, Professor, can you wipe me? I just went to the bathroom.”
    Professor: “Ask the Dean, I’m not allowed to!”

  12. llbigwave said:

    According to Neighborhood Dot, the Serin family have vacated 4932 Dewey.

    http://www.campidiot.com/ci/viewtopic.php?pid=3205280#p3205280

  13. Anonymous said:

    Poof..and with that they were gone, not with a bang but a whimper…

    😦

  14. Nigel Swayyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee said:

    Oh where, oh where, has my Caseykins gone? Oh where, oh where, can he beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??

  15. koi free semi vegan said:

    He has been to see his wife. She’s the love of he life. She’s a young thing and cannot leave her mother

  16. soem dood said:

    Jambes — new post required~

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