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Archive for March, 2011

“To live in fear… is not to live at all” (or “America…. FUCK YEAH!”)

It may work once. Perhaps twice. But not forever.

It may work once. Perhaps twice. But not forever.

Good morning, dear Sacramento Empire Chronicle Readers!

As I’ve said before, you know the drill:

1. http://priorityposting.com

2. t09-54538-ca

Surprise!

Third time's a charm, Casey.

Third time's a charm, Casey.

 

It seems* all that was needed was the dismissal of Casey Serin’s phony BK petition in order to restart the process. And hey! Opening bid is $2K higher. Those gypsies just can’t seem  to catch a break, don’t they?

America.. FUCK YEAH!

America.. FUCK YEAH!

(* I have no clue as to what I’m talking about, so don’t quote me on that).

So, April 12 is our new target date. And once again, Team Serin is faced with plenty of questions:

  • Will Aleksey Serin have the balls to file for BK?
  • Will Anna Serin be enough of a criminal to refile?
  • Will Casey Serin be stupid enough to refile, or file a Chapter 13?
  • Will the house be transferred to a new member of the Serin Crime Family?

Stay tuned. Unlike Two and a Half Men, there seems to be plenty of new drama on the Serin Crime Clan Show!

James Marks
Casey, we need a CrimeCast,
March 19th, 2011

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America’s pleased; Aceituno’s pissed; Casey’s BK was dimissed!

Hello, all you beautiful people.

Is anyone surprised?

Is anyone surprised?

So, now we know. Casey didn’t attend any meeting. His BK is dismissed.

Why was the auction cancelled, then?

James Marks
Still wondering,
March 18th, 2011

God, what an ugly car you have! (or “The Mirthmobile”)

I need to get access to one of these soon.

PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!

PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!

 

Get it? Get it?

Good morning, dear readers. Bad news. Yep. That.

We all knew this would happen, but it still hurts like f*ck.

We all knew this would happen, but it still hurts like f*ck.

Cancelled. Not “postponed”. CANCELLED.You know the drill:

Fuck, it hurts. Did I mention it hurts?

Fuck, it hurts. Did I mention it hurts?

 And just like freaking Nero (I know it didn’t happen – bite me) Margarita Serin took some time off their scamming schedule to write a nice poem (just as beautiful as those dead branches she sells for $40).

A Poem
by Margarita Kulaga (age 3) on Monday, March 14, 2011 at 5:51am

A poem by me:

Jesus opened my eyes so I can see the whole world,
And in it I saw people living in lies,
Children whose lives are a compromise.

I didn’t have to look far, and in it I saw; little ones being misused,
Innocent ones, being broken and murdered… abused!

And I cried out, “Jesus… O Jesus, why?
Why must so many little ones die,
They’ve done nothing, can’t you hear the precious ones cry?”

Tears filled His eyes as we looked at this world,
And in it we saw people living selfish lives,
They had no regard for another, and only cared for themselves,
Their hearts were evil; filled with hatred and lies.

We didn’t have to look far, and in it we saw: the evil one roam deceitful and freely,
And people bowed down to him, for they loved the world dearly,
They forgot their Lord Jesus, who watched them so nearly.

And then I cried out, “Jesus… O Jesus, stop!
Release your fierce angels and let your wrath drop!”
And in His reply, His words were too simple,
“It won’t be much longer till I gather my crop,
My wrath will come down and this murder will stop!”

And no, I shit you not. Although this is one of those moments I wish I were. Irony, thou art a heartless bastard.

Do as I say, not as my family does (c) Margarita Serin / Kulaga, 2011

Do as I say, not as my family does (c) Margarita Serin / Kulaga, 2011

My, my, my. Where can we start.

  • Jesus opened my eyes so I can see the whole world,
    And in it I saw people living in lies,

So, we have to believe out of all the world, Margarita Serin is the only person who “sees the truth” by watching others “living in lies”. HEY DUMBASS, your mom and dad and brother have lied everyday on their BK papers. Didn’t Jesus open your eyes to that, too?

  • I didn’t have to look far, and in it I saw; little ones being misused,
    Innocent ones, being broken and murdered… abused!
  • 

 I hope you also saw your brother abusing  Galina, making her scrub toilets, quit school, and burn CDs while he powernapped . Or, did you see your mom and dad abusing the legal system too?

  • Tears filled His eyes as we looked at this world,
    And in it we saw people living selfish lives,
    They had no regard for another, and only cared for themselves,

    Their hearts were evil; filled with hatred and lies.

So, let me get this straight. You looked at the world next to Jesus, and YOU alone saw everyone else living selfish lives? For fuck’s sake, just take a look at your Crime Family! Are you sure you weren’t at your Christmas reunion at 4932 Dewey Drive? I mean, your family only cares about themselves – SCREW AMERICA!  – and they are certainly full of lies. I’d assume you guys hate us taxpayers too just by looking at how you screw us everyday with your “delay tactics”.

  • We didn’t have to look far, and in it we saw: the evil one roam deceitful and freely,

He’s usually at 4932 Dewey Dr., or 3589 St. John’s road. And yeah, he roams deceifully and freely.

  • And then I cried out, “Jesus… O Jesus, stop!
    Release your fierce angels and let your wrath drop!”
    And in His reply, His words were too simple,
    “It won’t be much longer till I gather my crop,
    My wrath will come down and this murder will stop!”
  • 

OK, this may definitely just be me, and God knows I’m not a spiritual man

Out of all my songs, you had to quote my shittiest one?!?

Out of all my songs, you had to quote my shittiest one?!?

but I’ve always considered God to be sort the greatest… well… being out there – the most perfect, etc. And so, I can’t imagine why he’d direct his wrath, or fierce angels, or whatever against anyone. May be because I like the story of Jesus – the cool, calm dude who preached about love and forgiveness, not anger and hatred. And yeah, I know the Old Testament says I’m full of bull, but whatever. Wanna talk about religion, go watch the 700 club. Or better yet, don’t. Religion is like your asshole – everyone has one, and everyone thinks theirs smells like roses. No, wait – not everyone is religious… oh, what the fuck. 

It’s interesting how those “deeply religious” “christians” have no problem about screwing the entire country, anyway. I suppose by writing shitty poems their Karma sorta balances out.

Back to the BK – I wonder what happened. The obvious thing would be – Daddy Aleksey did it this time. But hey, this is America we are talking about. It could have been Casey or mom again. Could have been Kristina. Tim. Steve. Ulyana. Hell, it could have been Fido and nobody at the courts would have cared. 

I guess we’ll know sooner rather than later. I still wonder – why was it cancelled instead of “postponed”? No fucking clue.

James Marks
I kinda used to like that car back in the day,
March 15th, 2011

A week to remember (or “The Final Cuntdown”)

Hello, all you beautiful people. James Marks here,  living in my new home – now rat and shit free. I hope. Because I hate rats.

Maybe that’s the reason why I write this blog.

Don't dare compare me to Casey Serin! I work for a living!

Don't dare compare me to Casey Serin! I work for a living!

But hey, enough about me. I know you want the juicy meat.
Scarier, for me, would be waking up everyday and wondering if my house will finally be auctioned this week! (© The Dry Bones Blog)

Scary, as I see it, would be waking up everyday and wondering if my house will be auctioned this week! (© The Dry Bones Blog)

 

In all seriousness, this post is for you, Casey. You have a meeting today with Mr. Thomas Aceituno.

Debtor Did Not Appear.
The continued Sec. 341(a) Meeting to be held on 3/14/2011 at 02:30 PM at Meeting Room 7-B.
Aceituno, Thomas
Entered: 02/02/2011

Which is interesting, because – you’ve got yourself into a Catch-22 situation, dear Boy-toi. Wonder why? I just prepared a flowchart. Hope you enjoy it.

Not my proudest MS Paint moment, but what the hell. It works.

Not my proudest MS Paint moment, but what the hell. It works.

I dunno. Honestly, I’m not sure you’ll lose your home this next Thursday.  I tend to think it’s almost a safe bet you aren’t going to Aceituno’s meeting today.

I’m pretty sure you’ll cuke yourself in the family’s bathtub, though.

James Marks
“Come what may”,
March 14th, 2011

Just like Charlie Sheen, Casey Serin is “Winning”, once again (or “Skid Marks”)

Welcome back to the Show That Never Ends. And no, wonderful readers, Skid Marks ain’t my new nickname, by the way. I wish it were, though – everything will be explained in due time.

And no, I ain't talking about these skid marks, either!

And no, I ain't talking about these skid marks, either! (Image Copyright: 2007, Bryan Ray).

My post today is going to be quite a bit different from the the material I use to write on this blog – it’ll be more of a collection of random thoughts, trivia, useless information, and personal recollections. Damn. It’ll be exactly the same as anything else I’ve ever written. Carry on, but first, a warning – this post is pretty long. I tried to shorten it as much as I could, but still – didn’t do a good job at it, I suppose. For that, I apologize.

I’ve repeatedly made thinly veiled remarks about how busy I’ve been lately – and you have to admit, I did stop writing on this blog for a while. I feel free to say why by now. I had a Casey-like experience (and no, that doesn’t mean I cuked myself) – there was even a Casey-like guy in it. It involved, yes, a house, a big debt, skid marks,

And rats. And mice.

and rats. Big ones.

The background to my story is  a bit too complex to explain here, but the main deal was – there was a debt that wasn’t paid in time, and a family that couldn’t afford to pay it back. Nevertheless, they refused to move out for 1 year, until we reached a settlement. Said settlement involved those guys not paying a single dime in rent for 12 months, so they could find a new place to live afterwards.  I now own their home, and they… well, they don’t.

Funny how things are pretty similar to Casey’s, except that the other guy was, in all honesty, far more decent than either Aleksey,  Anna or Casey Serin. Also I was far more motivated than the goverment of California about getting that  property back.  

Or, am I? They seem to be pretty stubborn themselves!

http://www.erosi.saccounty.net/Details.asp?RecordingDate=20110223&RecordingSequence=00945&MultipleDocument=&PartySequence=00000&RecordingPage=00945&PageQuantity=0002&Xref=051107+2106&DocumentName=NTC+TRUSTEES+SALE&DocRetDate=

Two more weeks 'till Cirque du Serin starts its 2011 Season!

Two more weeks 'till Cirque du Serin starts its 2011 Season!

Once again: http://www.priorityposting.com/Priority/ , and use T09-54538-CA.  These are good news. Kinda like learning that Two and a Half Men is probably over by now, but that Charlie Sheen discovered Twitter, and he’s even weirder than Charlie Harper.

If Casey had any money, he'd probably be like this guy. Except he'd live with two huge dudes.

If Casey had any money, he'd probably be like this guy. Except he'd live with two huge dudes.

OK, I know. You’ll probably say they’ll just file once again pray to God for a miracle, and  keep on with life as they know it. After all, everything seems to be a miracle to the Crime Clan.

Niiiiiiice!

Niiiiiiice!

But things may be different this time (is this the 8th or 9th time I’ve said this? Oh, shit). By now, I’ve lost all my faith in the Land that Schwarzenegger F’d Up, but there’s still hope (and yeah, I know it’s a Federal thing, not a State one. Still, isn’t it fun to blame California about everything?)

 BAPACPA makes significant changes to the protection afforded to debtors by the automatic stay, particularly as to debtors who are “abusive” or “serial” filers.

        (1) Statutory presumption of bad faith:

            (a) A case is presumed to have been filed in bad faith if:

                (i) more than one case under any chapter of the Bankruptcy Code has been filed by the debtor during the preceding 12 months; or

                (ii) a previous case was dismissed in the preceding 12 months because the debtor failed to:

                    *   file or amend the petition or file other documents required by statute or by the Court;
                    *  provide adequate protection as ordered by the Court; or
                    *  perform the terms of a confirmed plan…

        (2) 2nd case filed within 12 months

            (a) If a debtor files a second bankruptcy petition within 12 months of a previously dismissed case, the automatic stay related to any property securing a debt, or any property securing a lease, shall terminate on the 30th day after the filing of the 2nd case…

            (d) There is an exception to the termination of the stay if the previous case was a Chapter 7 proceeding that was dismissed as abusive under § 707 and the subsequent case is refiled as a Chapter 11 or 13.

        (3) 3rd case filed within 12 months

            (a) The automatic stay does not go into effect if the debtor files a 3rd case within 12 months of the dismissal of 2 or more previous cases (a previous Chapter 7 proceeding that was dismissed under § 707 and subsequently refiled as a Chapter 11 or 13 may not be included in the number of cases filed for this purpose)…

     

Basically, Casey & Mom don’t have any options left.

And everyone knows I have no balls!

And everyone knows I have no balls!

It has to be Papa Serin this time around, unless the Crime Clan (does it sound better than the Crime Family? I dunno) fraudulently transfers the house again, to Fido (oh wait, he’s dead) or Steve Serin (genetically dead), or Rita Serin (brain dead),  or Timothy B. Serin (if not dead, at least artistically impaired), or…

Seriously - think about it. The possibilities are endless!

Seriously - think about it. The possibilities are endless!

But hey, I was telling my story here, and Casey got me distracted – back to my house thingie. Mother is the stay at home type – say, 55 years or so. They live with their daughter and son – she’s 21 years old, has quit college twice, went back home, and does nothing all day except watch TV and gain weight by the metric ton (really, I hear Spielberg called her about starring on a Moby Dick remake). Their son used to work a nice, cushy job until he was fired – 5 years ago. Hasn’t done anything except daydream about his own private aviation company since then. No girlfriend, no home, nothing – he’s the Casey of my story, I guess. Dad – he’s a nice guy, 60 years old or so, loves alcohol (come to think of it, I think he had at least 300 bottles of every type of liquor at home) and owns a big business. Gramps is a 90 year old funny guy.  Long story short – oldest son runs the company (to the ground), they find themselves with no money, can’t pay their home, so they lose it in the end.

I actually like that family; they are the kind of persons you like being around with (except for their two youngest sons). But the fact of the matter is – there was something very wrong about them, and I either didn’t notice it or never paid much attention. I did notice things were wrong when they were moving out last week. Dad stayed at home while movers were taking out their stuff and got drunk out of his mind (started drinking at 11:00 AM and didn’t stop until 8:00 PM – I can still hear his liver screaming). Mom was running everywhere and doing nothing. Son and daughter left their parents alone and went out to have some coffee, came back and went for some burgers. Gramps watched silently while things happened. I felt like shit – I really did, I’m not the Full-Metal-Asshole I’m at this blog, but hey, such is life.

At least I try.

At least I try.

It’s pretty disturbing to see what kids can do to their parents. I don’t think I can compare what I saw to Casey & Mom & Dad: they seem to be a pretty close family, from what I’ve seen. Sure – Casey would never be caught doing any work (physical work? That’s for servants!), and as we last saw, Marge needs help, but she can’t afford paying anyone back (- oh WAIT! They are exactly alike!).  It’s just that the Serin Crime Family sugarcoats their shit with the appearance of a loving, caring unit. But no loving son would ever f*ck ma and pa’s life the way Casey has done, that’s for sure.

But hey Aleksey and Anna, if you are reading this stuff, have faith. Your Crime Family may grow sooner rather than later! More virginal, sweet SSN’s to use and abuse (and you can still call your boi-toi an hetero)  – WIN-WIN! THANK YOU, SERIN CRIMEMOLE for these incredible pics!

HAI MAMMA SERIN! I'M GONNA AM YUR NEEU DOFTER!

HAI MAMMA SERIN! I'M GONNA AM YUR NEEU DOFTER!

Seriously – check that out (and I’m not talking about the lovely Christmas gifts – “broke”, my ass!).  Isn’t it a bit strange how “Olya” is pretty far away from him, and is keeping physical contact to a minimum?

Look at the body language! This is sooooooooo staged. Notice the space between them, the fact that Serin is not leaning in towards her, that other than his hand, they are not touching each other,her body is positioned actually far away and she has to lean into the shot, his right arm is not embracing her but most likely being used to position himself upright and away from her, her facial expression and forced smile, her right hand is on her right knee and not on her other  hand, her left hand is laying on his hand and not holding it, her hair is down on the side facing him to block him off, and their feet distance apart from each other.

Totally staged. She is sooooooooooooooooo not into him. He has that stupid smirk on his face like he is fooling us he is not gay…

Upon further inspection, look how she is pulling her feet away from him, their hands are not on her knee but on her top part of her leg and her left palm is blocking his hand from moving further up her leg,  and if I am not mistaken there is no engagement ring on her left hand.

( . ) ( . ), Guest (http://www.campidiot.com/pub/viewtopic.php?id=342904&p=1603)

You’d think that a young, horny couple may be pretty close to each other – I fully agree about that. It almost seems like a “mariage of convenience”; I honestly see no love or attraction in any of those pics. Who knows – maybe she needs her citizenship, and he needs her sweet credit rating. Also, If we were talking about cars, Casey has downgraded from a BMW Series 3 to a Dodge Caliber. Nah, more like an AMC Gremlin. With the full Pep Boys styling department add-ins, and fluffy dice on the rearview mirror. If we were talking about PC’s, Casey switched from a MacBook Air to an 8086.   Bleached hair, developing gut, E.T. forehead.. you get the idea, and you simply know I’m right. Don’t believe me?

This is a cute, hot, hardworking woman - no wonder she ran away from Casey!

This is a cute, hot, hardworking woman - no wonder she ran away from Casey!

I actually feel great about G; she made the right decision at the best of times. Anyway.

Casey and his token childbride-to-be

Casey and his token childbride-to-be

Please notice how Casey looks nowadays. The gut. The skin complexion. His lack of hair. The terrible tie. His ugly, dirty shoes. And yeah, he’s getting fat. Hear that, Casey? You are fat, dude.  

Hey, this sorta reminds me of...

Hey, this sorta reminds me of...

Except that those Muppets surely have a higher IQ than Casey & Olya. Combined.

Except that those Muppets surely have a higher IQ than Casey & Olya. Combined. And a wider range of facial expressions.

Some people have come forward and stated that they actually own the real engagement pics – and you know what? I believe them.

Casey Serin's one and only true love.

Casey Serin's one and only true love.

By the way – Olya, did you know Casey’s “house” (the one he’s squatting in) is about to be sold, too? Where are you going to live,  a cardboard box next to the Serins? Who am I kidding – Olya, I hope your house is big enough to acommodate the entire Crime Clan inside!

Plz do not bother Casey & Olya while they stay away from each other at home. OKTHXBY

Plz do not bother Casey & Olya while they stay away from each other at home. OKTHXBY

Funny how Casey & disaster always seem to be together.

I really, really wonder whether that chick knows what she’s getting into with Casey. She surely doesn’t know how to use Google, but I can’t help but think – what does Casey tell her when they go out and he never has any cash on him? And best of all – is Casey going to use her SSN and then dump it when it’s worthless (because by now we all know he doesn’t care at all about women – proof here, here and here). Did Anna Serin and Aleksey Serin tell her her son was primed to be a massive success? Is she ready for the massive freakin’ mess she’s about to get into?

Which sort of brings me back to my house (well, it doesn’t, but I couldn’t find a way to link both stories). I moved in last week. 8 years ago I helped an uncle design it, down to the last brick, and loved it to pieces, so I was very happy to have it back. For at least 40 minutes, that is. I found the remains of what must have been Mickey Mouse’s gay lover behind the stove (that is, if Mickey Mouse had 3 gay lovers, and they all lived together), completely fossilized and stinking the kitchen like hell. The lawn is destroyed. The house was filthy – the daughter’s room actually had dust falling off the walls. The living room had rat shit everywhere. The son (the 40 year old Casey wannabe) had left skid marks on his fucking toilet. I mean, really. WHAT THE FUCK.  But the

pièce de résistance (and don't ask me, that's what Google threw back at me when I searched for the term)

pièce de résistance (and don't ask me, that's what Google threw back at me when I searched for the term)

was so mind-blowing I was able to understand the entire mess.

Remember 90 year old Gramps? I never knew where the guy lived. The house is sorta big, and has a small basement room, which was always locked, so I obviously assumed that was his room, and fuck, was I ever right. That day, I finally got the keys to his room and opened it.

The scene is sort of surrealistic, and not in a Dali or Dada-esque way. More like a G.G. Allin concert.

And no, I shit you not.

And no, I shit you not.

There was the unmistakeable smell of urine, and it came from… well, every surface. The floor was full of black stains, which I haven’t been able to remove yet, and have no clue as to what they are. As far as I know, they are indestructible – I think I’ll call the NASA or someone to have them examined. The bathroom (excuse me while I go puke) had its walls smeared with feces. Toilet paper on the floor (and yeah, it was full of shit, too). There was a small desk with old photos (which I already returned, in case you are wondering) – and it was covered with dead ants and spiders.

And then I understood why those guys lost their house. I won’t bother you with my pedantic, moralist bullshit, but I think you know where I’m going. And I don’t care, I’m going to make my point so you can safely say I’m a pedantic, moralist douche.  I didn’t see any shred of respect for anyone or anything from these guys. Kids abused their parents. Parents abused Gramps. Gramps abused his room. Quite probably, the dog abused the cat (OK, not really).  All I  saw was contempt for the idiot (me, of course) who’d end up owning their home.  I saw a son and a daughter far more worried about partying hard and keeping up with their peers, instead of trying to help support their parents. I saw dad getting drunk out of his skull while his (ex) house was taken away from him. I saw Gramps’ shit.

In short, no, I didn’t see the Serin family.

But I’m sure I saw a glimpse of their future. Skid Marks my words.

So long, folks!

So long, folks!

 

James Marks
Still cleaning shit off the freakin’ walls,
March 3rd, 2011