Dedicated to all things X-Tina.

So,  I came home yesterday night feeling exhausted from a long day at work, had some supper and it was far too much to eat.  I made sure to add tons of Tobasco sauce and garlic because, well, I’m that kind of guy. Afterwards, I watched CreepShow, in honor of the late, dearly missed Leslie Nielsen

DON'T LET THE FECAL FINGER OF FATE TOUCH ME, SHIRLEY!

DON'T LET THE FECAL FINGER OF FATE TOUCH ME, SHIRLEY!

and then, since I really wasn’t feeling sleepy at all, decided to play some Rush Limbaugh on my iPod. Now, that did the trick.

Exit light. Enter night. Take my hand. We're off to Casey K Serin Lan

Exit light. Enter night. Take my hand. We're off to Casey K Serin Land!

I was in a dark place; couldn’t see anything. Then I heard someone talking to me…

“Hello James. Would you mind me doing a guest post on your blog? I have a couple of things to say, and I ‘ve tried everything, yet he won’t listen…”

I turned around and said…

“God?”

“Not God, James. If I were, do you think I wouldn’t be able to find someone actually worthy to talk to? I’m just your image of what I am.  Don’t confuse me with the real one, OK?”

“Uh… Ok, I suppose”. I said. Or thought. I think. Or thought.  “So, what is it that you’d like to talk about? Global warming? The End of Days? Whether George Bush was really your messenger”?

“Oh, no. Not at all. But, just to be clear, George Bush wasn’t my messenger – that was the coke speaking. You know, I made party boys, like George,  because without them there would be no party girls, like

Why, Tila Tequila, of course!

Why, Tila Tequila, of course!

And you’ve got to agree, Jimmy – that ain’t a bad thing!  Whenever I want to talk about stuff with you guys, I do it the right way. I send you major things, like earthquakes, volcanoes exploding, famine, or American Idol. You never listen, anyway. But this is your dream, and this time, you’ll be my messenger. Can you please type this entry as soon as you wake up?”

After waking up and debating whether lying through my teeth through a post for the sake of what some may  call “artistic license”, I decided to go ahead and really make the whole thing up. At least I’m being honest (or pretty cynical, take your pick) about the whole deal. So, here it goes.

My Birthday is near (or “I know what you did last Christmas”)

Good morning, Sacramento Empire Chronicles readers. Today, as James so well said, I’m writing this entry. Since I’m God, I can do pretty much what I want to, but I gave you guys and girls free will – did I mention I also promised James a raise at work, too if he let write a couple of lines here? OK, I didn’t.  And before you complain about “heresy” or stuff like that, let me remind you – this is all “for entertainment purposes only”, so it’s all good! Please direct your complaints to The Vatican, Attn. Pope Adolf Ratzinger, he’ll be sure to take care of them just as soon as he gets rid of all the pedophile priests in the world. It may take some time though, so please, be patient.

m only trying out for Emperor's Palpatine part for the next trilogy, James!
I’m only trying out for Emperor’s Palpatine part for the next trilogy, James!

Without further ado, let me tell you something that has been bugging me for quite a while. I was browsing through Facebook, checking out whether Buddha or Allah had accepted my Friendship requests (who am I kidding, We are all great pals!), when I noticed something on my “Latest News” (you’ve got to understand, with 80 million accounts to check out, things sometime take some time).

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=181586928854

First of all – it strikes me as a bit odd that these guys are celebrating my birthday and didn’t even invite me to it. But hey, I’m God – perhaps the Serins haven’t yet figured out my Facebook account. Then again, they apparently have never found me in real life, either, so why should things be different in cyberspace?

Exhibit #1.

Now, I know  this is soooo last year,  but I’d still like to make a couple of comments.

Number one: my Birthday shouldn’t be used as an excuse to get whatever gifts you want. First of all:  it’s MY Birthday, not yours. Why should you be getting games for your Nintendo DS, a PSP, or a date with Galina? Friends, wake up. All I ask from you is to love each other, to respect each other, and to forgive one another. Allright, I like gifts – I’ll accept it. I loved the Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh the Three Wise Men gave me. I have no problems with anyone expressing their love and affection through them. But come on, you guys are broke – I’d rather you guys pay your taxes and debts instead. Want proof?

Psalm 37:21

The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives.

Romans 13:1-7

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

Matthew 22:17-21

Tell us, then, what you think. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not?” But Jesus, aware of their malice, said, “Why put me to the test, you hypocrites? Show me the coin for the tax.” And they brought him a denarius. And Jesus said to them, “Whose likeness and inscription is this?” They said, “Caesar’s.” Then he said to them, “Therefore render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”

Please take notice. Nowhere did I say you were allowed to use A4Vs to discharge debt, I didn’t mention any “Sovereign” movement, and I certainly do not condone using my name to support any of these nutjob theories. I sent you guys authorities because I hate chaos. And no, I couldn’t have done better  – I did things perfectly well. Your governments may not be perfect because you aren’t; but they are absolutely necessary to preserve peace and some sort of order. Sure, sometimes stuff happens

...but in the end, things almost always end up OK.
…but in the end, things almost always end up OK.

It’s not that I don’t love you all – truly, I do, and I want to party with you here in Heaven when the time is right – but hey, if you break the rules I ain’t going to be sending you miracles  to save your family from yourself all the time. Yes, I’m talking about you, Casey. You say you want a Miracle? I sent you to the United States! I practically made sure you’d be happy AND prosperous! Anna, Aleksey, you wanted a family? I gave you 5 children!  You say you are broke and can’t pay your mortgage? I gave you not ONE, but TWO good paying jobs! 

See? And I also gave him "The Gift of Touch"!
See? And I also gave him “The Gift of Touch”!

 You said you want diversity? Your oldest son is gay, for crying out loud! (No, James. I did not say that – G.)

Besides, Casey, I want  to have a word with you.

Sladkaya: Russian for "My hot male lover" - JM

Sladkaya: Russian for "My hot male lover" - JM

Look Casey, I think it’s time for you to stop following every fad you see. Your body works perfectly well – I gave you intestines, a colon, a liver, and I Know what else so that you didn’t need to give yourself cleanses. Sovereigns and Truthers have existed for as long as humanity has, just as doomsday preachers. And certainly, this whole “Falun Dafa” thing confuses me. Aren’t you happy about being a Christian? Because I remember you promising me you’d be a good boy if I saved your 8 homes just a couple of years ago.

Getting back to the Serin Family: hey, I gave you all a bunch of talents. And what is it that you do with them? Take one of my most beautiful creations and turn it into a $40 piece of…. well, whatever?

For $40 I'd expect you to at least stain the base properly, David.
For $40 I’d expect you to at least stain the base properly, David.

But, since I’m Your Loving Father, I have to right your wrongs every now and then. It pains me to do so, I’d rather see you all happy, but I can’t and won’t assume responsability for your own mistakes.

Objection to Claim of Exemption.
Objection to Claim of Exemption.
Trustee's Objection to Claim Debtor of Exemption

Trustee's Objection to Claim Debtor of Exemption

 

And Anna, no.  The new look doesn’t suit you, and worst of all, you aren’t going to fool the G-Men with it. Just saying.

"Boris, are you sure this disguise will work?"

"Boris, are you sure this disguise will work?"

Now, let’s really get on with it.  It’s actually pretty simple: Dear Serin family, there’s a way out of this mess.  Romans 13, 1-8. Fulfill your promises, pay back your debts, and celebrate my Christmas at peace with yourselves. I still have faith in you, even though James here is shaking his head in disbelief and smiling. If he keeps that kind of behavior up, I’ll make sure his love life is even worse than it is right now. See? He just stopped laughing. There’s no need for sovereignity, A4V’s, conspiracy theories, Falun Dafa, Mao Tse Tung, the Miracle of Touch, or anything else you’ve tried. You still have time to set things right before January, 2011.

Listen. Do you want to make me happy this Birthday? There’s something I’d want you to do.

I give you a new commandment:  love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.

Oh, and one last note.

The Last Supper (in 4932 Dewey Drive)
The Last Supper (in 4932 Dewey Drive)

Get rid of that Tux, Casey. You look like a reject from Happy Feet.

Love,

God.

—–

James Marks
I wonder if this post is in good taste,
November 30th, 2010.

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Comments on: "I had a dream last night (or “James Almighty”)" (52)

  1. Anna and Aleksey’s Christmas list this year is more reserved.

    “Hey Tim, can you buy your Mom and I a few cans of beans to eat for dinner? And get your older brother some cucumbers. He sure loves his vegetables.”

    What I wouldn’t give to be there when these people are seated at the defendant’s table.

  2. […] I had a dream last night (or “James Almighty”) « Sacramento Empire … […]

  3. If I could get any Christmas gift I wanted, near the top of the list would be to see the Serins evicted from the house they’ve squatted in for so long. But I know that won’t happen before Christmas – Aleksey still can still file for bankruptcy and get the automatic 30 day stay. Instead I’ll ask for the eviction as a New Year’s gift. 2011 looks as if it will be a very good year for the forces of truth and justice and a very bad one for liars and cheaters. At least we can hope.

  4. W-2 Looser™ said:

    Excellent post James, and I too will miss Leslie Nielsen. I felt about his death the same as when George Carlin died a few years back. The world is a lesser place today. But we still have all their fine works to enjoy.

    • Thank you. I find it interesting that you mentioned George Carlin, since I was inspired by him (“The Planet is fine – The People are fucked!”) and Michael Moore (“Dude, where’s my country?”) when I wrote this post. By the way, I didn’t watch Creepshow; it was Forbidden Planet, actually. So there’s some truth in my post. 😉

  5. By the way:

    After Casey & The Crime Company asked for iPods, PSP’s, travelling gear, “parfume” and stuff… this is what happened.
    Crime Family, 2009
    They bought their presents via Amazon.com, with credit cards they never intended to pay. They’d declare BK exactly 1 month, 3 days after that.
    Context is everything.

  6. Anonymous said:

    Did I get caught in your spam filter?

    Oh well.

  7. Isle Bight :
    If I could get any Christmas gift I wanted, near the top of the list would be to see the Serins evicted from the house they’ve squatted in for so long. But I know that won’t happen before Christmas – Aleksey still can still file for bankruptcy and get the automatic 30 day stay. Instead I’ll ask for the eviction as a New Year’s gift. 2011 looks as if it will be a very good year for the forces of truth and justice and a very bad one for liars and cheaters. At least we can hope.

    All I want for Christmas is for them to be deported back to Uzbekistan. All, of them, XTina and Tim included. Toss in the Kulagas, Pechevs and Olyniks as well.

    • Legally speaking, as naturalized U.S. citizens they can’t be deported back to Tashkent, even if [or when] they’re convicted of a felony.

      Regardless, their future in the U.S. doesn’t exactly look bright. They may very well end up charged with felony bankruptcy fraud in the future, moreso if Daddy is dumb enough to file in the future. But even without prison, both Casey and his parents are looking at a fairly severe downgrade in quality of life that will affect them, pretty much for the rest of their lives.

  8. I can only echo what has already been said. Ma and Pa have bankruptcy filings on their records, no payments on their mortgage for nearly two years, their credit must be shot to bits. I don’t know how exactly the credit companies will react but I’m guessing one of two ways: Write off because they have filed bankruptcy and big black mark on their credit. Or, realising they haven’t gone through with the bankruptcy and have safe jobs, so file for garnishments on their wages. Either way, their credit score is only a few points above Casey’s because of their jobs; they won’t get any credit of any significance until they retire. Even then, I doubt they will ever get a mortgage again.
    Where does this leave them? Well, I think they will be renting somewhere within 6 months probably connected to a relative. I look forward to Casey’s explanation of why it worked out the way it did.

    • How do you explain Ma Serin being approved for the Kohl’s card in June 2010 when they had a dismissed bankruptcy and cards at collection?

      I’d like to believe they’re paying for their transgressions but that just floored me to see a new unpaid credit card on her September filing.
      😡

      • One explanation was given on CI. The original provider of the card service to Kohls was selling the book to someone else. It therefore bumped up the sale price by accepting any passing gypsy like Anna Serin. Whoever has it now will: 1 not be happy and 2 will be screwing anything they can out of anyone who got a card in the months preceding the sale, knowing they are likely to be bad risks compared with the average holder.

  9. Anonymous said:

    When did Casey play dress up as Tinkerbell?

    • That’s not Casey in the Peter Pan picture…

      That guy comes off as a manly hetero compared to the Cuke Boi.

  10. Isle Bight :
    If I could get any Christmas gift I wanted, near the top of the list would be to see the Serins evicted from the house they’ve squatted in for so long. But I know that won’t happen before Christmas – Aleksey still can still file for bankruptcy and get the automatic 30 day stay. Instead I’ll ask for the eviction as a New Year’s gift. 2011 looks as if it will be a very good year for the forces of truth and justice and a very bad one for liars and cheaters. At least we can hope.

    I doubt this. The bk court uses the same trustee for each region. IF they try again, I can see it being instantly dismissed.

  11. James Marks :
    By the way:
    After Casey & The Crime Company asked for iPods, PSP’s, travelling gear, “parfume” and stuff… this is what happened.

    They bought their presents via Amazon.com, with credit cards they never intended to pay. They’d declare BK exactly 1 month, 3 days after that.
    Context is everything.

    I am surprised the bk trustee didn’t notice this, but then again, the trustee is frustrated that these people won’t give detailed debt breakdowns.

  12. ….. :
    Legally speaking, as naturalized U.S. citizens they can’t be deported back to Tashkent, even if [or when] they’re convicted of a felony.
    Regardless, their future in the U.S. doesn’t exactly look bright. They may very well end up charged with felony bankruptcy fraud in the future, moreso if Daddy is dumb enough to file in the future. But even without prison, both Casey and his parents are looking at a fairly severe downgrade in quality of life that will affect them, pretty much for the rest of their lives.

    I know they can’t be deported, but I can dream.

    The US is far too permissive when it comes to granting citizenship. You should have to work 10 years, as an adult, at a private sector job before you’re considered for citizenship. Anything bigger than a traffic ticket during those 10 years should cause your citizenship application to be strictly scrutinized. BKs should send you back to the Old Country as well.

    • If citizenship is that easy to get, this is just fair. Why hold individuals to different standards just because they come from somewhere else? They are people, too. Put it this way: a lenient citizenship application process is just acknowledging the reality that the individual in question is there to stay, just like bankruptcy is acknowledging the reality that the debt is not going to get paid, or only partially.

  13. How do you explain Ma Serin being approved for the Kohl’s card in June 2010 when they had a dismissed bankruptcy and cards at collection?

    Do we know she actually applied for the card after the original bankruptcy filing? It’s possible the card already existed but was current at the time.

    Regardless, they’re just setting themselves up for serious trouble in the future. At worst, bankruptcy fraud charges, which would easily result in 2 or 3 years behind bars. At best, wage garnishment at maximum rate for the rest of their working lives.

    • Sometimes, credit is extended after bankruptcy precisely because the individual got out of debt and can’t declare bankruptcy again very soon. It’s a calculated risk. The same applies if the company that is granting credit is somehow going to be replaced by some other company, therefore making the debt somebody else’s problem, if the likely default does not happen before the transfer of ownership or management responsibilities.

    • Anonymous said:

      My understanding of the BK laws is that you have to list all debts whether current or not on the bills. I’m 99% sure that is why Rita’s student loan was included on both BK filings but then there’s that 1% chance that those were in default too. 🙂

  14. Serin is an amateur said:

    Casey is an amateur. George is a failure. Here is someone who has held off foreclosure for 25 years:
    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703865004575648900250047766.html

  15. Small Animal said:

    See this: http://www.freeandclearin90.com/2010/12/securitization-destroys-the-note/

    George might become an “Author”. Something casey tried but never quite made it. Another bus moment

  16. Monica :
    Actually, I wonder if the argument explained there makes sense. I don’t know much about mortgages. Could it be that the argument is valid and this may work?

    No, the argument doesn’t make sense, it’s wrong and baseless.
    Yes, you don’t know about mortgages and neither does George Tran.
    No, the argument isn’t valid. That isn’t how mortgage securitisation works, it’s more fantasy thinking by George who is in denial that he screwed up his property investments.

  17. Small Animal said:

    George’s site is called free and clear, and yet it seems he’s so far off the mark from that. And yet he’s spruking the coaching etc. It’s like casey offering how to avoid bankruptcy advice…

    • George or his minion, Alma, are now moderating the site. Me and too many others for his liking are asking where the successful cases are. As you say, he’s “coaching” again, and selling a book which includes, according to him, draft pleadings, but he’s not practising law, oh no. I’d write more but I’m busy writing “This is not an illegal substance” on baggies for my crack dealer friend.
      (George will soon be “free and clear” of three properties and their mortgages but I don’t think that’s what he was aiming for.)

  18. Small Animal said:

    He’s a crook really, isn’t he. Maybe a form letter complaining to the sherifs dept should be drawn up, we can print and send…

    • Oregon State Bar is already investigating him for unlawful practice of law (or whatever the exact technical description is) Have a look back through George’s “updates” for George’s OTT reaction and lack of comprehension and legal skills. (Hence my comment about “this is not an illegal substance” on baggies – writing I am not a lawyer or the Serinesque “for entertainment purposes” on your blog doesn’t change what you are actually doing; a point lost on George, Casey and the like.)

  19. Boy it is dead here! Casey, buddy, where are ya??? I want to hear about arrests and cavity searches and foreclosure auctions and all that good stuff!

  20. Here is a musical dedication to all of you. Enjoy!

  21. Arthur Wankspittle :
    Oregon State Bar is already investigating him for unlawful practice of law (or whatever the exact technical description is) Have a look back through George’s “updates” for George’s OTT reaction and lack of comprehension and legal skills. (Hence my comment about “this is not an illegal substance” on baggies – writing I am not a lawyer or the Serinesque “for entertainment purposes” on your blog doesn’t change what you are actually doing; a point lost on George, Casey and the like.)

    Yes, officer the drugs aren’t mine! I was just holding them for a friend, honest!

  22. dude…galina is a massage therapist. http://www.bodytempleinc.com/?page_id=129

    • Casey,

      We’ve all seen this link. Your pathetic attempt to draw attention away from the fact your family is going to get kicked to the curb has FAILED!

  23. bigjiggy :
    dude…galina is a massage therapist. http://www.bodytempleinc.com/?page_id=129

    Wow, she is hot. Makes me wish I wasn’t a straight chick, especially since she only caters to women. Hmmm….

  24. Merry Christmas, you beautiful haters you.

  25. Casey, sweetheart! Where are you???

  26. James Marks, you lazy bastard! Time for another article, dammit! Or have you sunken to Casey-level apathy?

  27. bump

  28. Casey, please come back! I want to have your baby! I know you aren’t into ladies, maybe you could pretend I was a muscle-builder?

  29. Casey, baby! I’m lying here in my black teddy with the champagne, strawberries, and cool-whip. Where are you????

  30. Anonymous said:

    Wonderboi has fired up the island2012.com socialgo site again. :popcorn:

  31. Casey, why are you screwing with websites??? My vibrator battery is almost dead!!! 😦

  32. Anonymous said:

    HOLY SHIT! Wonderboi filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy on 12/22/10, docs at CI in the file dump.

    http://www.zewp.com/dump.php?start=0&range=20

    • Hmm… I checked out Camp Idiot and it seems like a lot has been going on. But I don’t have the… not sure… time? interest? stomach? to read through pages and pages of Camp Idiot posts to figure out what it all is. I need a summary blog post!

  33. MrsDoubtfire said:

    I was informed of Casey’s latest wormsign, so I decided to de-lurk and come back to the world of the haterz.

    Those who are in the know, are aware the meaning of my namesake. I was one of the prominent players in the saga.

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