Dedicated to all things X-Tina.

Hello, dear SEC readers. This is your lovely host, James Marks, coming to you live from somewhere in the United States.

I never thought I’d write a post like this

A fat liar

….without having to use Melissa McCarthy, but I digress

but I should have guessed that yeah, Karma is a fucking bitch, and it works both ways. I guess I couldn’t be an asshole to X-Tina, Marge the Babby Factory, and the Ricky Retardo gang



without someone cornholing me nine ways ’till Sunday (or is it “nine days ’till Sunday”? Who the fuck knows. My writing is rusty. Bear with me. I’d post something about Tila Tequila, but last time I did, my display got gonorrheic herpes).

So, what happened, Jimbo? I hear you say. You were living the life, you had a better blog than Nigel Swaby’s. I bet you could have earned 0.05c a day, had you monetized this blog! SEO BABY! 

What happened? Life happened, as in shit happened.  I’m going to tell you all about it, not because I’m proud about things (I am not), but because I’ve learned that, had I learned early on very stupid and basic things about life and work, I wouldn’t be in the mess I’m in.

At least, I don’t owe 2.5 million dollars.


James Marks

Writing this will be cathartic. I can’t promise I won’t cry.
You can still laugh at me, though.

February 7, 2017


Hello there, James Marks here.

Yes, it’s me. It seems I haven’t written anything in years. It shows. I feel all rusty on the inside. Agh.

So, I was wondering. If someone were to write a book, or do a mega-blog about the entire Casey saga – would you read it?

I’d ask about it in all the usual places, but it seems they are gone for good.

That means it could be time to write the definitive CaseySaga.

Your thoughts?

I’ll follow you to hell and back.

I’ll blog about you until there’s no story left to be told.

I’ll be there to wipe your nose if you sneeze.

I’ll change your diapers when you… no, I won’t do that.

You tried to make a laughingstock out of America.

I’m only doing the same to you.


James Marks
Creepy, isn’t it?
April 1st, 2013.


Good afternoon, all you beautiful people. James Marks here.

Yes, I know. I let you down. But then again, that’s something you expected outta me, so I don’t feel that bad. Really, I don’t. Thanks for worrying, though.

Actually, I have an excuse this time. You see, I was going to write a big-ass “Where are they now” kinda post, but I “misplaced” it. Seriously. I found it a couple of days ago. Itsallgood. I mean, it’s not that bad.

Who cares, you are going to read it, anyway. Better than trying to read the mega-CI thread, that’s for sure. So, anyway, I apologize for setting the bar too low, and then under-performing. That’s my style.

I'm back!

I hope you’ll still love me in the morning.

Now that’s out of the way, I promise you – good things are coming, but in the meantime, this post will have to do. I apologize if my writing’s a bit rusty.

I usually don’t write about anyone else but the Crime Family, but today is different. Today, I’d like to congratulate an asshole of the highest caliber, the douche of  all douches, for managing a couple of FiRStS:

  • First non-Casey post I’ve written in years.
  • First post (of any kind) I’ve written in months.
  • First person I know of that f’ks it up on the Internet and receives the full karmic-blow of justice in less than a day.

Mr. ADAM M. SMITH, of Tucson, Az, I salute you. Today, you made Casey Serin (and the Serin Crime Family), douchebag and faggot extraodinaire* seem like a decent human being.

Adam M. Smith, Douchefaggot extraodinaire and asshole supreme


Confused? I know you may be. So let’s start from the beginning.

In the beginning, God made Adam and Eve. And somehow, along the way, Adam decided he’d rather do Jacob instead of Eve. Eve did some experimenting in college (she kept it above the waist, though) and then Fleshlights and RealDolls were created. The end.

Adam and Jacob

My GAWD, JACOB! You’ve got to take me to your tailor, that leave-tanga is simply S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G!!!!

In between all that stuff, though, a company known as Chick-Fil-A was born. They make some real cool sandwiches and stuff. Their CEO, Dan Cathy, is a respected member of the community. And then all went to shirt – what happened, you may ask? Well, Mr. Cathy was interviewed. And when asked about his opinion on something, he did the worst thing he could do. He did express his (protected by the First Amendment, mind you) own opinion.

“…we’re inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. And I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude that thinks we have the audacity to redefine what marriage is all about.” Dan Cathy, Chick-Fil-A CEO.

Now, this gets interesting. While I fully think gays should suffer the same hell we married guys go thru (JUST KIDDING HONEY, I’M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT HERE!) , there’s always the thing about every interviewer being an asshole who selectively edits everything we say. For Mr. Cathy also said…

 “we’re not anti-anybody. Our mission is to create raving fans….while my family and I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect anyone who disagrees. Dan Cathy, Chick-Fil-A CEO.

So, let’s see if I’m getting this straight (heh). There’s this guy with funny cow ads who is a successful entrepreneur, believes in God, employs a shitload of people, says HE believes in marriage as defined in the Bible, but loves and respects everyone who disagrees, and then everyone calls for a boycott of his business. Bizarre, IMHO. But I’ll let everyone reach their own conclusions. Me? I just love Chick-Fil-A and I’m glad to see their business is growing. That’s what America is all about, isn’t it? Live and let live, etc. Whatever.

Funny, I never saw any "hatred" on anything Dan Cathy said. Blah.

Funny, I never saw any “hatred” on anything Dan Cathy said. Blah.

August 1st was supposed to be a special day for Chick-Fil-A, gays and straights alike. For August 1st was supposed to be Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day! Check the stats – pretty unbelievable. 3.2 million invited, 650,000+ attending. And the news said it worked out pretty much OK.  Restaurants had lines that went out the parking lots – hundreds of thousands of people waited hours for their food. Millions of chickens lost their lives. Records were set. All of which shows that we americans may not know much about politics, but we do enjoy a rockin’ chicken sandwich. Or, we believe in Mr. Dan Cathy’s right to freedom of speech, and know there’s a difference between a corporation’s policy, and its owner’s opinion, even though we don’t agree with him. I’m not sure.  It’s one of those two, I think.

To me, the fact that the Chick-Fil-A CEO is giving money to Christian causes is equal to a gay-owned company giving money to gay causes. Which is to say, I really don’t give a damn, but both seem pretty much acceptable and in-line with the CEO’s beliefs.

Anyway, a Z-Grade “YouTube personality” (whatever that means) decided August 1st should be a special day, too. Her name is Jackson Pearce, and looks somewhat like that whiny kid from the “leave Britney Spears alone!” videos. Don’t believe me?

An attention whore with nothing to say.

An attention whore with nothing to say.

A funny attention whore with nothing to say.

A funny attention whore with nothing to say.

I rest my case.

Anyway, Jackson Pearce developed a very clever plan (for someone with an IQ lower than water’s freezing point) where she decided that the best way to bankrupt Chick-Fil-A would be to go there on August 1st and ask for a glass of water (which, incidentally, those hateful beings at Chick-Fil-A  give you – for free). And that would somehow be a stand against homophobia, or something – reason being, the cup of water would drain Chick-Fil-A’s resources and they’d not have any money to send to anti-gay groups. Seriously. That was her idea.

See James? I'm not the dumbest girl you've ever known!

See James? I’m not the dumbest girl you’ve ever known!

This is where Adam M. Smith earns his prize as the dumbest idiot on the Internets alive. Who is he, by the way?

Adam M. Smith
Tucson, AZ
CFO of Vante (
University of Arizona Tucson – Adjunct Lecturer
Mobile: (520) 403-5045

That’s him. And this arrogant son of a bitch decided it’d be a cool idea to vent his closet gay anger and frustration, on August 1st, by going to his local Chick-Fil-A, ordering a cup of water (free to gays and straights alike – again, how hateful!) and humiliating the employee who dared to give it to him.

A couple of worthy points to consider.

  • Check out the way he clearly insists he’s not gay – not that there’s anything wrong with that – but that there’s “no gay inside of him”. Yeeeeah, right. This guy really cares about homosexuals – but don’t ever confuse him with one.
  • He’s a CFO, but he thinks that  a $0.001 cent styrofoam cup and some water will stop the flow of “hate money” going to “anti-gay” groups.
  • Mr. CFO, telling an $8 per hour employee “I don’t know how you live with yourself and work here, I don’t understand it.” Don’t you just want to punch him in his (non-existant) balls ’till he faints?
  • What the hell is a “Chick-Fil-A anti-gay breakfast sandwich?” Is it lower in cholesterol? If so, I need one of those.
  • And, does it really “….taste(s) better when it’s full of hate?” All I saw was a cheery, incredible employee who did her job so well I hope someone makes her a manager of that place. There was no hate whatsoever in her, she handled the situation impeccably. She’s 1000X a better person than Adam Smith.
  • Don’t you really like the way she truly wishes him a good day? At that point I’d be trying to rip his eyeballs out of their sockets. Yet this sweet, incredible employee, after receiving a harsh, terrible treatment she didn’t deserve, still had the presence of mind to wish him a nice day. That’s not “full of hate”. If those are Chick-Fil-A’s values, I’d rather have those than Mr. Smith’s.
  • Did he really think he “did something purposeful?” I mean, really. Fuck.
  • What was he trying to accomplish by uploading the video? No gay man would support what he did. Nobody would. What was the point?

Something else I find somewhat disturbing is that this man had the “balls” to attack a restaurant employee, when he, a CFO, can’t even handle his personal finances. Once again, WTF?

…My current credit score is in low 500’s (was 780 about 6 months ago) due to missing payments on two credit cards, one mortgage and two HELOCs. …

What a dickhead.

But, in a staggering turn of events, justice was served hotter than a plate of Chick-Fil-A chicken



The media picked up the story. Reuters just announced Vante of Tucson, Az, released a statement confirming the firing of Adam Smith, and asking the general population not to hold Smith’s actions against Vante.

That’s it. That’s the short, sweet little ending of this story.

James Marks
If life had been as fair with Casey Serin, this blog wouldn’t exist. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing,
August 2nd, 2012

* Ed. note: Throughout this article, the words “faggot”, “closet homosexual”, “gay”, “raging ___”, “flaming ___” and derivatives are liberally (ahem) used. This does not imply any sort of disrespect from the author towards persons with different sexual orientations. I’m a firm believer in Viagra, the pursuit of happiness and all that crap. Nevertheless, and I think gay and straight people will agree, there are  homosexual people, and there’s that raging faggot, Casey Serin. I hope I made my point. If I didn’t, please do not ask for a fresh, free glass of water. I just ran out of styrofoam cups. Thank you very much. Dicktated, but not read / JM

So stayed tuned, because good things are cumming.

Hello, faithful readers! Summer is here, and the time is right,
for the Serin Family living in the streets!



We may have witnessed Snowflake’s 2011 return, and not a minute to soon – he has, after all, very little time before Island 2012 opens. But before that, we get to witness his annual mental break-down – you know, the one that has brought us the infamous Pirate Party at the Park! So, while we wait for September to come by, we’ll have to make do with Casey’s latest bizarro-land appearance.

There are many things I don’t really “get” about the Serins, but one of their most glaring defects is the fact that it’s really rather obvious they wouldn’t know anything about mid or long-term planning. They just seem to do things in a naturally random way, without any sort of logic to it (I’m pretty sure Casey would call it “Organic”). For example, filing for multiple bankruptcies without any intention of honoring their repayment plan. Or getting a Kohl’s card after their first BK. Sure, that’ll give them short term satisfaction, but in the end, wouldn’t they just rather have paid their BK, or downsized to a smaller house, instead of losing it all?

I blame Casey's parents for his lack of planning skillz. Hell yeah.

I blame Casey's parents for his lack of planning skillz. Hell yeah.

I bet Casey would like a piece of that cake, too.

Where was I? Oh yeah. I’m still sorta shocked (which just goes to show you, I’m either an eternal optimist or a true-blue idiot) about Casey’s latest activities – because I assumed he’d have learned his lesson at this point: someone who takes money away from you in exchange for services isn’t necessarily your friend. Especially when services are intangible, delivered over the Internet, and without any sort of guarantee. Casey has fallen time and time again for this scam, and it seems he’s only happy to do it again.

Enter Mr. Jerry Kennedy. I’m not a professional blogger, so to speak (I actually have a real life job, as most of you know), and I don’t know the “secrets they don’t want you to know” about blogging (probably the reason why my blog is so shitty in the first place)

...and the reason why most of my hits come from "Tila Tequila" searches! Sweet SEO, babe!

...and the reason why most of my hits come from "Tila Tequila" searches! Sweet SEO, babe!

so please, Mr. Kennedy – if I’m wrong about something, let me know. I’ll pretend I care, if you do the same.

Anyway – what happened? Apparently, someone named “Monica” told Mr. Kennedy (The Blog Whisperer) about Casey’s story (which at this point is deader than Michael Jackson’s nose implant), and strangely enough, Casey showed up at a talkcast / radio show / whatever,  just to tell it.


I should be getting tired at playing the role of "Master of the Obvious". But, no.

I should be getting tired at playing the role of "Master of the Obvious". But, no.

Remember what I told you about long / short term planning, the Serin family? Well, riddle me this. Why would Casey agree to be interviewed if he didn’t have a long term goal? Answer: I don’t know, and neither does Casey. But I bet we can all assume – he’s coming back, sooner rather than later. His attention whoring personna got the best of him, but I bet he was also seeking publicity; I don’t think he merely agreed to be asked about his criminal past in exchange for nothing.

Back to Mr. Kennedy, since we need some background. Who’s he?

He has a web site called the “Blog Whisperer”. Which seems right up Casey’s preferences – I bet he thought Kennedy would be whispering on the back of his ear, in a horizontal position, what to write about. But nah, don’t think so – the reaming Kennedy’s doing to Casey ain’t a sexual thing (not that Casey would not enjoy it). Although he really is screwing his over. So to speak. Want grate poof?



Not to say that Casey actually is paying $495 x 3 for… fuck, I don’t know what. But it’s amazing how consistent he is – he always seems to be associated with people hell-bent on screwing someone else  (sorry Jerry!).

Casey's life, in 9 blocks.

Casey's life, in 9 blocks.

I mean – I’m going to get serious for a moment. I have ZERO writing background or experience. I’m not as funny as many of my friends, or interesting, or smart, or attractive, but I found something I enjoy writing about, and apparently, people enjoy reading it. See? That’s the secret. I don’t need a “blog whisperer” for $1,500 telling me what to write about, and neither do you. Nevertheless, let’s see what the package includes.

What’s a Blog Whisperer?

A Blog Whisperer helps you speak with the voice of your soul by teaching you to quiet the voice in your head…

Great. Voices in my head, voices in my soul. I always thought blogging was done with, well, your brains. This is deep stuff, the secrets they don’t want you to know!

You might have even hired one of the experts to help you.

You could drop thousands of dollars on coaches who are supposed to help you be a better blogger; trouble is, they focus on the technical side of things.  Instead of helping you get your ideas out, they start with the next step: helping you get “found” once you’ve actually written something.  They teach things like SEO strategies and using social media to drive traffic to your blog, but you know that’s all pointless until something’s actually there for your new readers to, you know, READ!

Yeah, because the first thing I consider when I’m about to do something is deciding who is going to think about what I’m thinking about doing – no way I’d ever do it myself! (Come to think of it, that’s exactly the way Casey thinks! Coincidence? I say NOT!)

That’s where your Blog Whisperer comes in!

Imagine a guide, someone to help you navigate the dark recesses of your mind and locate the hidden treasures there, and then get them out of your head and onto the screen!  Picture yourself sitting down at your computer, logging in to your blog, and effortlessly creating the kind of content you read on your favorite blogs.

A guide to navigate the dark recesses of my mind who’ll help me find the hidden treasures there. Where does this guy get the inspiration for the amount of verborrhea he uses? I mean, seriously. But hey, your brain enema will cost $1,500 – it has to sound somewhat fancy, I guess.

Even more important, though, just think of your readers having their lives changed by the ideas that you shared, the posts that you created, the content that came from your heart!

I hope to do so. Listen, kids: Casey Serin is a con man, and you don’t need a guy who’s going to give your head a brain enema in order to write a blog. Do it yourself. Save the money.

No writer’s block.  No anxiety. No problem!

You may or may not be a reader of my Motivation 101 Blog (don’t worry: it’s not a requirement for this program).  If you are, you know that I spend a lot of time talking about the importance of just being yourself: open, honest, and transparent.

This guy is getting to be more like Casey Serin – his link is broken (on his own blog, the one that’s trying to sell a $1,500 course on how to blog properly!). The right link is (don’t click – worse than Goatse).  He’s charging $150 to set up your blog over there.

And here’s how I can help…

I’ve created a brand new program to help new and experienced bloggers get those world-changing ideas out of their heads and onto the screen in just 12 weeks…and I want to you to join me.  Here’s what you’ll get:

  • A 1-hour one-on-one initial consultation to establish your mission, vision, and desired outcomes
  • A weekly 1-hour tutorial dealing with one of 12 mission-critical topics, designed specifically to help you make your blog a magnet for your readers, followed each week by 30-minutes of Q&A and an optional 1-hour “blogging period” (during which you and your classmates will have the chance to put what you’ve just learned into practice)
  • Two 1-hour one-on-one follow-up calls to help you stay on track and focused with laser intensity on hitting your goals
  • If you don’t already have one, a self-hosted WordPress blog, complete with your own domain name, 1-year of hosting, and a theme of your choice
  • Unlimited email support for your burning questions between classes (guaranteed 24-hour response time)
Let’s do some numbers, shall we? It’s either a $1K initial payment or a $1.5K deferred one. That buys you:
  • A one hour telephone “consultation”, plus 2 hours of “follow up”.
  • 12 hours of tutorials, 6 hours of Q&A, and an optional 12 hours of jerking around with other people, trying to outblog one another.
  • A blog.
  • “Unlimited” e-mail support.
Considering the tutorials aren’t live, this guy is either charging you $333 per hour, or $500 per hour, depending on how you decide to pay. Sweet. Motherfucking. Allah. Passive. Income!
Make up your own mind about Jerry Kennedy…. I know I already did.
No comment at this time.

No comment at this time.

As to Casey’s show… yeah, I listened to it. Twice. There are a few gold nuggets, so I’m going to go over them… so you don’t have to listen to Kermit T. Frog’s voice again.
“CS: Stated income (lies) are not that big of a deal…”
A lie is a lie, Casey. Maybe some people fudge the numbers up a bit, because of overtime pay or whatever that they cannot fully prove. But you? What kind of income did you have? ZERO. You had already quit Pride. It IS a big deal, because if you hadn’t lied, you’d have got exactly ZERO loans. Period.
“CS: Haterz… blah blah blah, sob, they made my life miserable”.
I can point you to at least one or two comments where I stated, unequivocally, that I wanted to see YOU succed, Casey. Come to think of it – if you hadn’t lied on your statements, left your wife with the Cashcall debt, paid $30K to other scammers (like Kiyosaki), etc., you’d have a) a place to live, b) a gorgeous, hot wife, and c) your dignity intact. As it is, you have nothing – and it’s not because of us, kid. We are all along for the ride – that’s all.
I doubt you were denied jobs because of CampIdiot, CaseyPedia and this website. Why? Easy – if you had a job, Cashcall would come after you faster than Imperial Executive’s 2,400 bps modem (oh, wait…).  same thing with Bob Parsons interview for GoDaddy, even Mr. Kennedy caught you lying there.  There wasn’t any interview, and nobody mailed Bob Parsons in protest-  I’ve been around ever since the beginning of this “epic” saga, and It. Never. Happened. Period. Edited by James Marks: yeah, I’m a retard. Sue me. Then sue the lender.
“JK: Writing your blog was cathartic…you were such a risk taker”
Casey wasn’t in it for the catharsis, he was in it for the attention whoring. He has never shown any remorse about his crimes; all he wants is the attention of haters and family alike (I don’t think there are any supporters at this point). Casey cannot feel any sort of feelings about what he did; it’s as if he just knew people expect him to feel bad about things, so he says he does.
Also, Casey is NOT  a risk taker. I said it several times on There wasn’t any risk to him: he never invested a cent of his own money (it was all “OPM”, as he calls it), and he didn’t have any sort of intention of paying any of it back. So, tell me, what’s the risk on that? He was a mere speculator. Not an investor, and certainly not a risk taker.


CS: They want me in jail…

Well, sure we do. Do you remember the time that guy trespassed on your property? You went apeshit over it and wanted to call the cops. Do you remember when Wells Fargo “stole” your money out of your account (when you had actually given them permission to do such a thing?) You wanted justice done. So what’s wrong with us wanting the exact same thing? You tell me.

CS: My parents don’t like being stalked…

Nobody wants to be stalked, Casey. But people don’t want deadbeats living around them, either. Nor people who are obviously laughing their asses off at others, like us, who pay our taxes and our debts. You and your family had been a burden on America for far too long, and even then, you decided to laugh and mock our country. Remember when you peed on a dollar bill?

Casey Serin pissed on a dollar bill, just to show how grateful he is about the USA accepting his family as immigrants. No, we do not forget.

Casey Serin pissed on a dollar bill, just to show how grateful he is about the USA accepting his family as immigrants. No, we do not forget.

Remember when you used to talk about “let them deal with their own collateral damage”? How your family hangs around public property as if they were crazed chimps in heat? That’s abusing the system – why do you think some people took pics of your parents movements?

Pot. Kettle. Black. Now, go ahead and tell Aleksey and Anna to “deal with their own collateral damage” . The house. Their retirement money. Their dignity. It’s all “collateral damage”.

Oh, you also said you “pulled the plug on the blog” because of the stalking. MORE BULLSHIT. People started taking pics of your parents house AFTER IAFF. You didn’t stop blogging because of it. Yet another lie, in order to make yourself look like a victim.

JK: Would you do it all over again?

One of my favorite answers from you Casey, and our current slogan. You seem to imply that “itsallgood” because you learned a lot of things. No, it’s not all good, because people told you exactly what was going to happen, and you didn’t learn a thing. After you lost 8 houses, you tried your “Soverignity” “A4V” bullshit on your parents home, AND HAD THEM EVICTED AS A RESULT.  How the HELL is that “learning from the past”?

How can you live with yourself?

Frankly, I’m stopping here. I’m overwhelmed (just like Casey said he was 1,000 times during the interview). But, be certain. Casey is coming back. Be prepared.

James Marks,
That’ll be $1,000, or 3 easy payments of $499 each!
July 12th, 2011 

Hello, dear readers! It’s been a long time.

I was having my period. Honest.

I was having my period. Honest.

It was about time, too. Not so much that we know of has been going on on Snowflake’s life, but as I said before: justice failed. He’s roaming free, like a fucking gay butterfly during mating season, laughing his ass off, while fucking a chick that looks suspiciously like a gay dude, or a retarded trout a gorgeous blonde vixen. So, if I’m paying my fucking taxes, I say I’m entitled to at least a tiny bit of entertainment from those criminals (yeah, my soul feels much better now. Thanks).

OK, where were we? Oh yeah. Do you remember Ogre, from Revenge of the Nerds? That guy kicked serious ass (that is until movie #2, when he was pussy-fied to the point I wasn’t sure I was watching La Cage Aux Folles or ROTN2). Well, he could have written the following paragraph.

Average people never prepare themselves to handle failure. We are all taught in school to conform.  In the classroom there is only one “right” solution to a given problem.  All you have to do is memorize the answers or cheat without getting caught and you will get an “A” on a test.  We are seldom graded on our ability to come up with the answer.  Real life is different.  Being good at the process of coming up with the answer is more important than the answer itself.  Problems change every day.  We can never know enough in every situation, no matter how “book smart” we are.  So we have to be masters at failing forward to reach a solution.

Failing Forward, Serin Crime Family Style. Example #1. There’ll be a test.

Failing Forward #1: loose™ your parents home to your stupid schemes.

Failing Forward #1: loose™ your parents home to your stupid schemes.

Or this one.

 The cost/value is much better than anything else out there and it’s not just one strategy or topic but rather a complete REI education from start to finish.  I have spent something like $30,000 on real estate seminars before this college and have already seen a lot of stuff out there.  Some stuff was good but a lot of it was “fluffy”.  So I had high expections coming in.

Failing Forward, Example #2: Spending $30,000 in RE "Education" vs. going to real College? It's a no-brainer!!!
Failing Forward, Example #2: Spending $30,000 in RE “Education” vs. going to real College? It’s a no-brainer!!!

I could go on, but honestly – what’s the point. He’ll never learn, and he always thought he was so much better than all of us W-2, college educated losers.

So, anyway, the big news is (as always, thanks to CI’s Neigborhood Dot):




I think I see Animeboi & Imperial Executive somewhere in that pic. Bonus points if you guess which is which, and who is who.

But hey. The Crime Family is now gone, so, what happened to our dear high school grad? You know, the underage one one with the thunderthighs? Oh yeah. She’s 18 now, so I bet Casey is already planning on how to get some sweet passive income out of her. If you know what I mean. Pervs rejoice, and stuff.

Our little Kristina hass just graduated, and she’s, as a leading publication calls them, “Barely Legal”. Yeah, I know what you want, but it’s just too hard to fellate someone through a computer monitor, so I’m giving you the second best thing. Courtesy of Casey’s Secret FB mole: Kristina Serin’s graduation pics!

First: Ma, Paw and the Ricky Retardo gang:

I wonder if that's the public park they live in now.

I wonder if that's the public park they live in now.

A couple of comments I shamely stole from Campidiot:

  • Check out Steve. Doesn’t he seem he’d love to be somewhere else? He isn’t physically close to anyone. Also, his tie is at least 3 fingers too short, making him look even dumber than usual.
  • Marge the Babby Factory and David look pretty much OK. Marge, actually, looks prettier than I’ve seen her before. I’m not that much of an asshole, so I wish them well.
  • Does Kristina look happy to you? I dunno. She usually has this big ass (ahem) smile. She looks as if she’s trying hard, but no dice. Also, does anyone notice how much she looks like her father and Casey? Yikes.
  • Mommy Anna Serin and dad Aleksey Serin look actually relaxed and happy. Actually, Dad looks as if he married a homosexual lesbian (it can happen, I suppose). That wig makes Anna look like Casey Serin’s butch brother. That is, if she didn’t look like a 70 year old grannie.
  • And then there’s Casey and Olya. Check it out. Casey looks like shit, as always – seems he can’t be bothered to dress aproppiately.  His jacket doesn’t match his pants, no tie, faggy looking shirt….But the real interesting thing is – there’s no physical contact between them. Check it out. Hmm. By the way, I wasn’t aware Casey had married a bass fish. Gives new meaning to the term “trolling”, I suppose.

Kristina and Daddy:

Amazing! My child was able to graduate - even while being homeless! - Aleksey Serin

Amazing! My child was able to graduate - even while being homeless! - Aleksey Serin

  • Notice how much those two look alike. Even considering the nice boobs (and no, I’m not talking about her and her father!), could you kiss Kristina and not imagine Aleksey? Instant boner-crusher!
  • Extra points because daddy Aleksey actually knows how to dress for a graduation ceremony and wiped the drool off his face. Good for you Aleksey!
  • Extra points for Kristina for having completed High School. Come on X-Tina, show us what you got (ahem) and do finish College!

Anna Serin, the potty-mouthed Matriarch:



  • Not much to say about this one. Try not to stare,  or else your dick will fall off and run away, while your balls retract deep inside you and end up as ovaries.

X-Tina and Babby Factory Marge:

Kristina™: Because I don't know any other pose.

Kristina™: Because I don't know any other pose.

  • Let’s be honest here: I’d do Marge. She’s prettier than X-Tina.
  • Let’s be realistic here: she’s the one who begs for people to help her do stuff without pay and sells old sticks for $40.
  • Sometimes I wonder if Kristina has a mannequin built using that same pose and uses it for every pic.

Because CI is the only place on earth where X-Tina is called that way:

What's up with that sign?

What's up with that sign?

  • Good to know Daddy Aleksey has mastered the art of actually looking homeless.
  • Seriously, though, he looks a lot thinner than I remember.
  • X-Tina has a better looking smile here.
  • But she still looks like Roseanne Barr. She hit the Slavik Wall. Hard.
  • Once again, Anna Serin looks like Aleksey’s butch husband. I wonder if Rosie O’Donell gave Anna her wig after recording The Flintstones, back in the 90’s.
  • No, CI. I bet you are not the only guys who call Kristina “X-Tina”.

Usually, homeless people use big-ass signs for other purposes:



  • Attention whore alert: do you see anyone else with a big ass sign? I rest my case.
  • Whose hands are those? And, do they know a heart is actually a chick’s big ass while bending forward? Or, is that a code sign for “X-Tina, time to get to work!”?
  • Why do those people behave as if the rest of humanity didn’t exist? For fuck’s sake, have some decency and let people behind you watch whateve it is that is going on, morons. No wonder Casey can’t give two shits about society.

And this, I shall call… The Crotch Pic.

or "The Mystery of Kulaga's Stiffy"

or "The Mystery of Kulaga's Stiffy"

  • Once again, Marge looks sorta stunning on that pic. She’s the cute one, not Kristina.
  • And yeah, once again, Steve looks completely out of place and uncomfortable.
  • Perhaps he’d like to help David Kulaga with his all too obvious erection!
  • Are you still undecided about whether Daddy Aleksey Serin is mildly retarded? Look at his jacket. Now look at his arm. Now, try to look for his hand. Convinced? Once again, I rest my case.
  • Speaking about that, every trouser is far too long. I guess shopping at Goodwill has its drawbacks. I bet they miss their Kohl’s credict card.
  • I have to give props to mom, dad, Kris, Marge, Daddy and yeah, even David. Look at them – seriously. They are a very tight Crime Family unit – you can see and feel the love, just like between the Corleones.
  • Take a second look at their body language. Steve is trying to fit in, while David – Marge – Kristina and Daddy form a very tight unit. Anna is trying to slightly break out of it, BUT she’s leaning on her husband, which seems to mean she understands her daughter will leave home soon,
This was supposed to be a "big butt", but it's more of a WTF thing.

This was supposed to be a "big butt", but it's more of a WTF thing.

  • Look at dad’s, mom’s Marge’s and David’s position related to Casey and his lesbian bulldyke. They have their backs to them. Only Steve seems to be leaning towards him, and that could be because he’s so far away. Bad sign.
  • Now, take a look at the Trout and Casey Serin.
No, really.

No, really.

  • Compare them to Marge & Dave or Anna & Aleksey. They don’t even look like a pair of acquantainces – complete strangers usually have more physical contact than them. No part of their body is touching that we can see. Casey is using his “bodybuilder” chest expanison technique, far more worried about his looks than whatever his fiancee / husband / wife is doing. And Olya? She just looks completely out of place there, maybe more so than Steve.

Now, there’s just one more thing I don’t get. There was the lavish party, nice dress for Kristina, and Casey’s trip to Las Vegas during the Apocalyptic Week-end of May 21st. And, quite obviously, Anna and Aleksey aren’t living off the streets. So, where on earth is the money coming from?!? Think about it – we don’t know where the Crime Family is living, but one thing is for sure – if they are renting, then they have to pay each month or else. They also have no more credit cards, so they are living day-to-day. Where did the Jamaica and Las Vegas money come from? And then – if they have so much money that they can send Casey world-hopping, why can’t dad afford a suit that doesn’t make him look like a retard?

The only possible answer is: Olya’s got the money. We’ll find out sooner or later.

I hope you aren’t able to argue with me on this one – I was fair to the Serins this time around (yeah, right!). I guess we’ll soon know what’s up with Casey and his new Bass / Trout girlfriend / transexual SO, or whatever. Just wait – I bet Summer will bring plenty of surpises for all of us. How do I know? Easy. Why on earth did the Crime Family upload all those pics to FB? A: Because they are a bunch of attention whores, and will be for the foreseeable future.

Oh, and about Kristina? I’m still undecided, now that she’s 100% legal. Sure, she’s chubby hot, but you know, I like a different kind of oriental chick.

Hurry up James, Tila may be back any minute now!

Hurry up James, Tila may be back any minute now!

James Marks
All things considered, aren’t you just GLAD you were a nerd at school?

June 17th, 2011